Coming home for me is one of the scariest things I can imagine.  Sometimes I try and convince myself that it will not be hard and life will be so much more simple after my program.  The only problem is that I am a recovering addict.  There are drugs every where in this world.  No matter what town you live in or which state you reside in.  Being in Ivy Ridge is a blessing for me, to be able to live in a sober and structured enviornment is extactly what I needed.  Everyday I wake up as a happy young man whose purpose is to help himself and others while showing his individuality.  But out in the streets its a whole new story, there are drugs around every corner.  I know my parents are scared about the possiblity that I might fall back into my old habits, but I am terrified.  We are taught that fears should never run us and I am a strong believer of that concept.  But what I went through at home to me was a living nightmare, being unable to sleep because my body was so strung up on cocaine, or not being able to be there for my family because I was too drunk.  I have dug myself into a hole and the only way out is to climb through my program and back to where it all began.  Life is too short to spend it messed up on drugs and that is my biggest fear.  To fall back into a life of hatred and depression would be the most painful thing that I could ever endure.

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