Even though I am a upper level, I do still have many issues and I still get affected by them.  One issue that I see a lot recently with myself is that I have a problem with those who are in more power than me, its not that I don’t respect those who are in power of me its just that I still have a problem accepting things I don’t like or that I don’t believe in.  I know that things happen and people don’t have control over things.  Another issue I have still with myself is that fact that I have a lot of anger within myself and that I need to take it and let it go.  My anger in the past has brought me into many wrong situations and it has almost brought me down in my program.  I am working on both issues and as I go through the program I will be better on these issues.

I think I have a lot to work on especially since I have gone through PC1.  I know I need to work on my entitlement issues, listening to what other say.  I also need to take a step back some times and look at the big picture rather than the small corners of the frames.  I need to work on thinking about how my reactions will affect me in the future and how I will choose to handle them if they come up again.  There are a lot of ways to work on these things, but I just need to apply myself and do the work I need to.  That’s another thing applying myself and doing the work.  I feel like it is a waste of time, so I won’t do it.  I think sometimes making goals helps me.  So I should make more of them and more often.  I can also take things one step at a time and even use the accountability formula.  I think talking and spreading myself out to peers and staff could help me spread myself out to broader ideas and ways to do things.  As far as my reactions, I think maybe trusting myself to take in and get feed back in the moment would help me.  I know I have some a long way in only 9 months but these are main things I see come up for on a weekly basis.

I see that I still have some issues to work on with my family.  I see that sometimes I don’t tell my parents how I feel because I don’t want them to think nothing bad about me.  I see that me and my parents need to open up to each other and tell each other how we feel about each other.  I want to talk to them about how the friends that I had at home weren’t good friends for me.  My anger would bring me down and I saw that when I get mad I would avoid talking to my parents and I would go and hangout with my friends and try to forget about it but that would just make things worse.  I see that I use my anger a lot at home to cover my emotion and my feelings. This is some of the things that I need to work on with my parents. 

I have made many improvements and changes to my behavior and thinking process throughout my stay here at the Academy at Ivy Ridge.  Even though I have made a complete 180 degrees turn around I still have many issues I need to work on and I will be working how to better myself and my entire life.  I still need to work on communication and control.  Sometimes when I talk to others I tell them what to do and interfere with their plans when I should just let people do what the are doing as long as it is working.  Of course if I see someone making a bad non-working decision I will not let them bring themselves or myself down.  Sometimes I get to controlling.  Also, I tend to react when I am talking to a person and I do not respond.  To work on this I need to think more before I act and think about what I say before I say it.

The things that I still need to work on are my attitude, the way I come off when I am angry especially my bitterness because when I am bitter, I get sarcastic and stuff.  That is not working for me cause I need to just learn to step left and move on because I tend to just stay stuck and don’t even like to think about what I’m saying or how I might be hurting people.  Also I need to work on getting so mad at my mom so much because I know she loves me and she only is doing what she thinks is right.  But I know that I am definally thankful for everything, yet I need to work on not really being inconsiderate when I’m in the moment.