DISCOVERY laid the groundwork.  Three days of high-energy, motivating and exhausting interactions with seminar leader Duane S., his devoted staff, and our fellow Discovery participants left us physically exhausted, but emotionally energized..  We then looked forward to Focus with a mixture of excitement and fear.  After Discovery, what more could be laid bare?  What sort of roller coaster experience lay ahead?  We could not have imagined the changes we would undergo when Focus finally arrived.

Riding the emotional high from Discovery, we floated for quite a while.  Eventually, however, we started to get pulled down by the undertow of daily life.  You all know the routine.  Ducking the curious stares of parents we had known for the past fifteen years, making a quick exit out of the stores where the parents of the “perfect children” were shopping.  We were fiercely holding onto the blame that was not solely ours to take, but we were powerless to realize what a nonworking choice this was.  That is, until the Focus seminar began, under the “tough love” leadership of Lou D.

Throughout the seminars, Lou made us take a hard, honest look at ourselves and our approach to out lives.  We were given the priceless gift of self-inspection from the beginning of the seminar to its end.  Approximately eighty wonderful people were present for this transformation.  Looking back, one of them most valuable lessons that we learned was that we had a common bond with so many worthy, committed, joyful, and wise human beings.  Being members of this group began to feel less like a common affliction, and more like a blessing.  We developed incredible admiration and caring for our fellow travelers, as well all experienced our individual transformations.

An ancient story of enlightenment came to mind as the seminar drew to a close.  Thousands of years ago, Siddhartha Gautama used meditation in his search for self-understanding and the awareness of how to relieve suffering in life.  After a prolonged effort, he suddenly came to the realization that through his own choices and beliefs he was responsible for creating his own joyful life.  He was connected to all living things.  He affected all people, and was affected by all people.  When he finally arose from his meditation, he began to travel throughout India.  The people he met immediately noticed that he was different from ordinary humans.  They asked him: “Are you a wizard? Are you some sort of God?” He replied: “I am awake.”  They began to all him Buddha, which means the enlightened one.

It was the interactions we had with our fellow travelers that provided enlightenment at Focus.   Our shared experiences launched us into new ways of regarding our lives.  Every moment of every day, the positive undercurrent of loving energy from our Focus group lifts us up into the light.  We will forever cherish the wisdom we absorbed from the many experiences we shared with our brave and noble Focus family members.

After the Focus Experience we are now all awake.  It is up to us to use this gift.  We could go back to our previous existence, in which we put on our emotional blinders to enable us to get through each day.  Or we could make a different choice.  We could rise to the dangerous challenge of looking at all things in the brightness of our new level of awareness.  We are in control of our own choices and outcomes.  Others are in control of theirs.  We cannot continue to pursue the past: it is lost to us.  We cannot predict the future: it has yet to materialize.  And we cannot continue to let our inner negative thoughts wreak havoc on ourselves.

We must choose to allow the game to play out in our lives while standing in our own values.  This is the appropriate choice, but it is also the hardest choice.  As we continue our personal journey, we will use the Keys seminars to solidify our resolve.  We look forward to the day when everyone in our family will embrace the awakened life available to us all.

LUCINDA AND TOM H

SON NICHOLAS H

ENROLLED ACADEMY AT IVY RIDGE

I didn’t need to go to Focus - at least that’s what I thought. You see, I got a lot out of Discovery, and besides, what else could they say that I hadn’t already heard?

I was wrong.

Focus had an enormous impact on me. I had been struggling with relationships for twenty five years, never quite knowing how to keep them from going sideways. I’ve tried everything: being more this, less that, acting more like this, less like that. I tried everything, that is, except not acting at all - except being me.

This might seem basic to you, dear reader, but to me it was Mount Everest. The idea of stripping off all masks, of being vulnerable and not putting on any act at all, was unnerving. When I would walk into a room full of people I’d not met before, I wanted so much for things to go well that I went into “doing” mode rather that just being. I would try to “do” relationships rather than being me, being real, without masks or showmanship.

It seems so obvious now - it was laying on the surface the whole time. But I couldn’t, or perhaps wouldn’t, see it. Then came Focus. One of the precious, powerful people at Focus had the courage to give me brutally honest feedback, and that feedback changed everything. For the first time I got it: my problem wasn’t relationships at all. It was fear. Fear of rejection was the trigger that brought me into “doing” rather than being.

This experience led to a new decision anchored by a contract. I made this contract with myself: I am a courageous, connected, and free man. You know what? I actually am! I’m still occasionally tempted to slip into “doing” but it not longer had any real power. It’s an old, feeble fear - a predator without teeth. I am courageous, connected and free.

I almost didn’t attended Focus - I almost missed that wonderful opportunity. Thankfully my wife MaryElaine convinced me to attend as a good example to our teen: we were asking him to be a finisher, so let’s show that we are also finishers. Whether or not that was a good reason is academic: the fact is I attended Focus, and I’m grateful.

If you have not yet attended Focus, I highly recommend it.

Marshall C.

Son Peter C.

Academy Ivy Ridge